Have you ever binge watched a show and then felt like you were losing your best friends when it ended?
I feel like that a lot when I finish books.
Since I began my stress-less journey, figuring out what that meant and how to attain it, I had been reading and listening to self-help, self-care books. Books that encouraged me to be the best me I could be. I love listening to audiobooks and usually the authors read these books themselves, which always makes me feel like we are at Starbucks and they are just monologuing to me about something important, right? I’m not in this car right now, no- I’m flipping my hair out of my face on a terrace overlooking some body of water I can’t pronounce in Europe.
Oh, wait, yes I actually have to work today so let’s pause there and get back to this convo on my 15 minute break shall we?
I love feeling like I have someone to talk to about exactly what I’m struggling with- there is literally a book out there for everyone.
Self-help always felt so dramatic and strange, but self-love is what it is. And there’s only empowerment behind the phrase and I love that too.
We all need help, we all get scared but what we don’t always do is change or get out and above our stresses. That’s why we listen or read books about it. Although, the hardest part is actually doing it. I can’t believe I’m even writing this post right now I’ve been thinking I’m going to start a blog for so long- but here it is! Even if not one other person ever reads it. I did it.
Well, I was stressed in the womb. I was made that way. My mom was always stressed and so was I. It was actually how I thought everyone lived until I was an adult and saw my friends taking whole breaths and thinking about their futures. I was always a person who learned by seeing other people do something, when I see the results I feel inspired, although I also see how hard it was for them to do. So, I listened to my books in the car and thought “well, that’s a good point. I could do it, but I can’t…. it was different for them….” blahblahblah. I made excuses for staying stuck and unhappy because I wasn’t actually taking the advice I was getting, which usually was if you aren’t happy- do something about it.
One day I looked at my most recent reads and noticed they were all similar and they were all about quitting your job and doing something you want to do. I’m not kidding. My subconscious was picking my next read. So, after many failures at figuring out what I actually did want to do with my life if it wasn’t was I was doing- I just quit. I didn’t have a specific path in mind but I knew I needed a break and some space to figure it out.
I was always a reader and a writer, that’s what drew me to Librarianship and what made me start this very blog. I set aside time to write and told myself I would finally finish that book I was writing this year. And I promise you that I still will. I got a work from home job at a non-profit and although it was a big pay cut, I made it work. I cashed out my retirement account and I put my energy into doing the job I was paid to do and without having to leave my house I found I had way more time in the day. So, I looked around. I listened to books that told me I could do it, and I actually for the first time believed it.
I put myself to work and I have been writing almost every day since I quit a stressful job and chose to take myself out of a stressful environment. My creative energy needed the space to spread out and I can say 100% I feel like a new person. I feel like I’ve finally found myself. I feel like I can breathe. I realize now that it felt like I was breathing into a plastic bag before and now there’s fresh air and organic farms with actual flowers there and the world has opened up into the shining light of a new season of my life.
Sadhguru in the book “Inner Engineering: A Yogi’s Guide to Joy” said, “Stress is not a consequence of a particular situation – it is a consequence of your inability to manage your own system. Stress is not a consequence of a particular situation – it is a consequence of your inability to manage your own system.”
This was one of the things that changed my life during this time. The idea that stress does not have to be compounded on us, we are in control of it completely opened my eyes to the way I feel about stress. Now, I see it as a road block. If something doesn’t go right, it will. If something is making me feel trapped or like I just don’t want it in my life, I cut it out. Life was so much easier than I thought it was because now I know that I have options. Sometimes they are hard and a sacrifice, but the time I gave myself showed me a whole new life that I could be living and now I am putting everything into what I love.
Apparently if you actually take the advice your books are giving you than you can really make some changes.
Here are some of the books that I will always remember fondly!
